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“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit...
…Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell…
…nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat…
…it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
(via cumberchameleon)
Went to school with tally marks on my hands.
Four people asked me what it was.
One girl practically had a panic attack
And my science teacher asked me if I’d seen the Silence, so I responded “The What?” and his face went blank, and he replied. “What were you asking me about?” I just about cried laughing so hard.we should have a day where whovians worldwide go out with tally marks on their hands and arms, freak the world out a little bit
^^This needs to happen.
Can we make this happen? How about April 23rd, the day The Impossible Astronaut (the first episode The Silence showed up in) aired. Yeah? C’mon people, let’s make this happen :D
HEAR THAT WHOVIANS?! This is happening. April 23rd. Tally marks on your hands and arms. DO IT.
WHOVIAN ALERT. APRIL 23.
(via secretwaterway)
So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.
(via celestialteez)
Um…what is
(via fuck-yeahpokemon)
THE MAGIC BEGINS - 7. Favourite scene(s).
↳ “Riddikulus!” [2/4]
The Boggart-Banishing Spell[1] (Riddikulus) is a charm that is used in defense against a Boggart. It causes the creature to assume a form that is humorous to the caster, thereby counteracting the Boggart’s ability to terrorize. Boggarts are defeated by laughter, so forcing them to assume an amusing form is the first step to defeating them.
humorous
humorous
HUMOROUS!!!!!!!
Both Emmas Faces are Priceless
She just shakes her head like “this dumb bitch”
Emma Stone’s face is the face of “I will kill you and no one will find the body.”
I will never not reblog this okay.
Reblogging this because oh my god. Yes to both Emma’s faces.
Emma Watson’s just like ‘I weep for society’.
OMG SHAME
the girl behind emma watson doesn’t look impressed either oh my god
(Source: wannabebritish, via secretwaterway)
Apparently DT will be staring in some more ads for Virgin Media.
He is too adorable!
SEND HELP
It’s almost like my computer screen is the only thing between us
(Source: expelliarmus, via cumberchameleon)
This is me all the time.
I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THAT WALK
This pretty perfectly sums up conventions.
IT GOT BETTER
(Source: togifs, via dansenmasheen)
